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Co-parenting calendar: how to share the school week across two homes
Debs · 14 October 2026
The short answer
A good co-parenting calendar shows, in one place both parents can see: which house the children are at each night, who's doing each drop-off and pick-up, the school dates (INSET days, half term, parents' evenings), clubs and what kit needs to be at which house. Use a shared calendar app rather than messages, keep it businesslike, and make sure both parents get the school's emails directly.
When parents live apart, the school week has an extra layer: which house the PE kit is at, who's collecting on Wednesday, and whether the other parent knows it's an INSET day on Friday. Most arguments aren't about the big things. They're about a swimming bag left at the wrong house and a message that was "definitely sent". A shared calendar takes a lot of that heat out.
What a co-parenting calendar should show
The aim is that neither parent has to ask the other, and the children never have to carry messages. If the information is on the calendar, it's been said. Our guide to sharing school information with your family covers grandparents and carers too.
- Which house each night, in each parent's colour.
- Who's doing each drop-off and pick-up, including handovers at school.
- School dates: INSET days, half term, trips, parents' evenings and performances.
- Kit and clubs: what's needed each day, and which house it's at.
If it's on the calendar, it's been said. Nobody has to send the message.
Left: the pattern of nights, in each parent's colour. Right: PE kit, swimming bag and reading book, which are usually where the trouble starts.
Both parents should get the school's emails
In England, the Department for Education's guidance says schools must treat all parents equally, unless a court order limits what a parent can do or receive. In practice that means both parents can usually ask to be on the school's contact list, get reports and newsletters, and go to parents' evenings. Tell the school office if you've separated, and give them both sets of contact details. If there's a court order, the school needs a copy, and the calendar should follow it; if you're not sure what an order allows, a family solicitor can advise.
Getting the emails directly matters more than any app. It means neither parent is the gatekeeper, and nobody can say they weren't told. It also stops the slow slide where one parent becomes the only one who knows anything, which we wrote about in weaponised incompetence.
The children shouldn't be the messengers. Neither should one parent.
Which app to use for a co-parenting calendar
A free shared Google or Apple calendar works if you're both happy to keep it updated. Dedicated co-parenting apps such as OurFamilyWizard and TalkingParents add messaging with records and expense tracking, which some families (and some court orders) need. Debs is built around school: both parents can have full access, see the same calendar, and get the same night-before list of what each child needs. Our round-up of the best family calendar apps in the UK compares more.
Co-parenting calendar options
What each is good for. Check prices and features on each app's own site.
| Good for | Watch out for | |
|---|---|---|
| Shared Google or Apple calendar | Free, simple, on both phones | Someone has to type everything in |
| Co-parenting apps (OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents) | Messaging with records, expenses | Monthly cost; less about school |
| Debs | School dates, kit and forms, filled in for both | It's about school, not messaging records |
| Paper calendar at each house | Children can see it | Two copies, never the same |
Mistakes we've all made
- Sending school information through the children ("tell Dad it's non-uniform day").
- Keeping the calendar in one parent's phone, so it's really one parent's calendar.
- Arguing about kit by message instead of writing on the calendar which house it's at.
- Assuming the other parent gets the school emails, when only one email address is on the list.
School, shared fairly
Debs, your own school admin assistant, reads the school's emails and letters and puts the dates, kit, forms and money on one family calendar. Invite the other parent with full access, and you both see the same calendar, the same "Don't forget" list and the same night-before list of what each child needs, whichever house they're at. Drop-offs and pick-ups go on the calendar too. Debs isn't a messaging or records app, so if you need those, use one alongside it. See everything Debs can do.
Questions parents ask
What is a co-parenting calendar?
A shared calendar both parents can see that shows which house the children are at, who's doing drop-offs and pick-ups, school dates, clubs and kit, so neither parent has to ask the other.
What is the best co-parenting calendar app?
It depends on what you need. A shared Google or Apple calendar is free. OurFamilyWizard and TalkingParents add messaging with records and expenses. Debs fills in the school side for both parents.
Do both parents get school information after separating?
In England, the Department for Education's guidance says schools must treat all parents equally unless a court order says otherwise. Ask the school office to add both parents' contact details.
Is there a free co-parenting calendar?
Yes. A shared Google Calendar or Apple shared calendar is free. You'll need to agree who adds what, and keep it up to date.
How do you manage school kit between two houses?
Put the kit on the calendar with which house it's at, keep a spare of the essentials at each house if you can, and agree who washes and returns it.