Co-parenting calendar: sharing the school week across two homes
Two homes. One week. One version of it.
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How to share school information with your partner, co-parent and grandparents
Debs · Updated 25 September 2026
The short answer
Keep school dates, kit and schoolwork in one shared place that everyone who does a school run can see, rather than in one parent's inbox and head. Give partners and co-parents full access, and give grandparents or childminders a view of just what they need. Then nobody has to ask "is it PE tomorrow?" and nobody has to be the one who always knows.
Most families have a Designated Knower. They know it's PE tomorrow, that the trip form is due Friday and that Nan's doing Tuesday pick-up, which is also guitar day. Everyone else in the family is very supportive of the Designated Knower, mostly by texting them questions. It works brilliantly until the Knower is ill, away, or simply tired of being the family's search engine.
Why school information ends up with one person
Schools usually email one parent. That parent reads the letters, so they know the dates, so they get asked, so they end up doing the remembering as well as their share of the doing. Add a co-parent in another house, a grandparent on pick-up duty and a childminder, and the same questions arrive from four directions.
- Partners: need everything, and to be able to add and change things.
- Co-parents in another home: need the same school information, fairly and on time.
- Grandparents: need their days, what's in the bag and when pick-up is.
- Childminders: need clubs, pick-up times and anything that changes.
Being the one who remembers is a job. It just doesn't come with a salary or a lunch break.
Left: when school information lives in one person's inbox, everyone else has to ask them. Right: a shared list means whoever is doing the run can check it for themselves.
Step 1: Get school emails to more than one parent
Ask the school office to add a second email address for letters and the payment and messaging apps. Most schools will add both parents, and separated parents with parental responsibility can usually ask for school information too.
That stops the single point of failure, but two inboxes full of school emails is still two piles. The next step turns them into one list.
If the answer to "what's on tomorrow?" is one person's name, you haven't shared it yet.
Step 2: One shared list, different levels of access
Put every date, kit day and deadline on one shared calendar or family app. Partners and co-parents get full access so they can add things too. Grandparents and childminders get read-only access, so they can see what's in the bag on their days without accidentally deleting the Christmas concert. Then set evening reminders on everyone's phone, not just one.
Who needs what
A simple way to decide what to share with whom.
| Person | What they need | Access |
|---|---|---|
| Partner | Everything | Full: can add and change |
| Co-parent | School dates, kit, schoolwork | Full, for their children |
| Grandparents | Their days, the bag, pick-up | View only |
| Childminder | Clubs, pick-ups, changes | View only |
Mistakes we've all made
- Forwarding every school email to your partner, who now has 46 unread and still asks.
- Telling Nan about pick-up but not that it's guitar day, so the guitar stays at school.
- Keeping the shared calendar and then adding half the dates to your own one instead.
- Assuming the co-parent knows about the INSET day because "it was in the newsletter".
When to let an app do it (yes, another app, but hear us out)
Debs, your own school admin assistant, lets you invite your partner as a parent and grandparents or a childminder as view-only, with a link you send by WhatsApp or text. Everyone sees the same children, calendar, school bags and schoolwork, and each person gets the evening reminder on their own phone. Debs reads the school emails once, for the whole family. See how it works.
Questions parents ask
How do I share school information with my partner?
Ask the school to email you both, then keep dates, kit days and deadlines on one shared calendar or family app that you can both add to. Set reminders on both phones so it isn't always one person remembering.
Can separated parents both get school information?
Usually, yes. Parents with parental responsibility can generally ask the school for information about their child. Speak to the school office, and use a shared list so both homes have the same dates.
How can grandparents know what's in the school bag?
Give them read-only access to a shared family calendar or app, so they can see pick-up times, PE days and clubs on the days they help, without being able to change anything.